Addicted to love

I am always a little afraid of becoming addicted to things. I like to be in control, and not to be controlled. Especially not by little things like tv or chocolate or internet. But the truth of the matter is, I am a little addicted to all of the above, and to certain aspects of them specifically.

One of the signs that you are addicted, and that you are a real addict, is that you hide it from other people. It is not something you share with other people. You do it alone. For years I kept my love of chocolate hidden from family and friends. It was only when the person I love the most, who I share everything with, unknowingly told my mother that I am obsessed with chocolate that they found out. My mother was very surprised. She had had no idea. And my love had had no idea that it had been a secret I had kept from her all these years, simply because I had shared it with him so freely. And the funny thing is, that even if my chocolate consumption may not have been reduced tremendously since then, it most certainly is more healthy - mentally that is. I no longer cower in the corner, I no longer buy chocolate in secret, having my secret stash in a box by the bed. No, now I have one chocolate stash with my love, and although I eat most of it (yes, I admit it), I no longer hide the fact that I eat it. Or that I enjoy it.

And so with this in mind - getting the addictions out in the open, I am ready to say that my real addiction these days is of a very different kind. Yes, there is chocolate and tv and internet, but those are not the real ones. The big one is this: I'm totally and utterly addicted to T - my love. To holding his hand, knowing he is close, seeing him, talking to him, hearing his voice, his laughter, seeing the things he does. I am addicted to love. And not just any love. His love. Oh, I am a lucky girl to be addicted to him, and to know that I can be. This is truly an addiction I want to have for life!